Details. The Stuff That Quietly Runs Your Life
A tech support call, a frustrated coworker, and the one word I keep telling my kids
Sometimes I’ll look at one of my daughters and say just one word.
“Details.”
I have said this over and over again for the last few years.
At this point I’ll just ask, “What’s that one word we talk about all the time?”
She pauses... sighs... and finally says it back.
“Details.”
We normally have a good laugh, but she knows I’m serious when I say it.
Because the older I get, the more I realize that word quietly controls almost everything that matters in life, including how we lead well.
The details slipped through my fingers
This last week, yep, not years ago… LAST WEEK… I had one of those weeks where the details slipped away.
I was leading a large, cross-functional project that needed input from multiple teams. Different orgs, different perspectives, different priorities.
In the spirit of inclusion, I invited more people into the process earlier than usual so the plan would reflect a wider set of voices.
Good intent.
Messy result.
Somewhere in the swirl of meetings, recordings, and chat threads... an important item got dropped from the plan. I had it ready, but just not added to the slide for the final draft review.
A coworker pointed it out and they were obviously frustrated. They were right to be. It should have been there.
I had a choice in that moment.
Defend myself and blame “the process”... or own it.
So I took responsibility. I told them they were right, it should have been included, and that I would fix it.
Then I went back to the source.
I re-listened to the recordings.
I retraced the conversations.
I followed each thread and every note until I could piece together what had been said, what had been missed, and what needed to be put back into the final plan.
Painstaking. Not glamorous.
But that is usually what “details” look like in real life.
And here’s the humbling part.
I’ve spent 30 years in tech.
I’m a leadership advisor.
I’m a dad who constantly tells his daughters to pay attention to the details.
Even then... I still missed details that mattered.
The Seagate Tech Support Call I’ll Never Forget
This isn’t a new lesson for me.
It showed up years ago in one of my first technical support roles at Seagate, supporting backup tape drives.
A guy called in because his tape drive wasn’t working.
We went to work.
I spent over an hour troubleshooting with him.
Settings, drivers, software, media... all the usual suspects.
One of the very first questions I had asked at the beginning was, “Is it plugged in?”
He said yes.
After an hour of getting nowhere, I finally felt that nudge inside that said, “Start over.”
So I did.
“Let’s go all the way back to the beginning,” I said.
“Can you follow the two cords from the back of the tape drive and make sure both are plugged in... one into your computer and one into the wall?”
There was a long silence.
Then he said words I’ll never forget.
“Oh, there’s supposed to be 2 cords?!”
We both laughed.
He felt bad, I felt bad, but we fixed it in under sixty seconds.
I’ll never forget that call because I remember the entire emotional process.
The growing frustration.
The feeling of, “Why is this so hard?”
The moment where I realized an hour of “expert troubleshooting” could have been a one-minute solution... if I had stayed closer to the basics and the details from the beginning.
That tape drive is burned into my memory as a permanent reminder:
Most of the time, the problem is not that you are incapable.
It is that you rushed past the details.
What this really means for you and me
Here is the uncomfortable truth.
In today’s world, it is incredibly easy to lose the details.
We are moving fast.
We are over-scheduled.
We sit in meetings all day, layered on top of constant pings, emails, and new “priorities” shoved into the calendar.
So we skim.
We assume.
We rely on our memory instead of the source data.
And then something breaks.
A relationship. A deliverable. A project. A commitment we made.
Suddenly there is a frustrated coworker, a disappointed customer, a missed expectation at home... and we wonder how it fell apart.
Most of the time it wasn’t fate.
It was details.
The simple process I keep coming back to
If you are in a season where details are slipping... here is the simple process I keep returning to:
Slow down
Go back to the source
Connect the dots slowly until the truth is clear
That’s it.
Not a complicated framework.
Just a 3 step process to live by.
Go back to the recording.
Go back to the document.
Go back to the original email, the actual data, the written agreement, the first conversation.
Then connect the dots like a kid with a pencil and a dot-to-dot page.
No skipping around. No shortcuts.
Somewhere in there you will usually find your missing “second cord.”
And when you do, take responsibility.
Don’t blame shift.
Don’t minimize it.
Don’t try to wiggle away from the fact that you dropped something.
People respect leaders who own their misses and learn from them far more than leaders who pretend they never fail.
If this hit close to home, here’s your next step...
Where do you need to slow down, go back to the source, and check whether both cords are actually plugged in?
Hit reply or leave a comment and tell me where the details are costing you right now.
FAQ Corner: Details, Leadership, And Real Life
Q: How do I become more detail oriented as a leader without slowing everything down?
A:
You slow your brain down...
For the critical projects and moments, you pause and ask:
“Do I really understand what was said, decided, and expected here?”
Then you go back to the source... the recording, the doc, the email... and connect the dots slowly until the truth is clear.
You don’t need to obsess over everything. You just need to be ruthless about the few things that really move the needle.
Q: What if I’m just not a “details person”?
A:
That’s OK. A lot of great leaders aren’t.
But you’re still responsible for the impact of missed details.
So you build scaffolding around that weakness.
You document more than you want to.
You pull in someone who is wired for details.
You create simple checkpoints instead of hoping your memory saves you.
“Not a details person” explains the problem... it doesn’t excuse the outcome.
Q: How do I pay more attention to detail at work when everything feels chaotic?
A:
You can’t control the chaos, but you can control your pace.
Pick a few “non-negotiable” moments each week where you slow down.
Final plans. Key emails. Big decisions.
Before you hit send or say yes, ask yourself:
“Did I go back to the source, or am I trusting a foggy recollection?”
That single question will save you from a lot of self-inflicted pain.
Q: What should I do when I realize I already dropped the ball on a detail?
A:
Own it. Clearly. Quickly.
“I missed this. That’s on me. Here’s what I’m doing to fix it.”
No blame shifting. No long story. No defensiveness.
Then fix it at the root, not just on the surface.
People will remember how you responded more than they remember the original mistake.
Q: How do I teach my team or my kids that details matter without just nagging?
A:
Tell stories instead of giving speeches.
The Seagate tape drive story.
The project you almost tanked because of one missed line.
The time a tiny detail created a big win.
Stories land where nagging bounces off.
Then attach a simple phrase to it so it sticks.
For me with my daughter, that one word is “Details.”
Q: How do I know which details actually matter and which ones I can ignore?
A:
Follow the impact.
Details tied to expectations, commitments, money, timelines, and relationships... those matter a lot.
Details that only serve your ego or perfectionism usually don’t.
If a missed detail will break trust, cost real time or money, or confuse people about the plan... it’s worth slowing down for.
The ruthless prioritization.
Q: What is the simplest “how to” I should remember from this article?
A: Slow down, go back to the source, and connect the dots slowly until the truth is clear.
Do that consistently... and you’ll already be more detail oriented than most leaders around you.
The number of times I went to help Mum "fix" her computer only to find it wasn't plugged in at the wall, or the monitor wasn't plugged in...
Very good article. Sometimes were are so distracted that we can't just slow down and feel whole again.