Choosing Hope, One Walk at a Time
My health journey in a body the world treats differently
I have had a hard week if I am totally honest.
The world can be so cruel.
Tears streaming down my face… I started writing this post…
I was not sure I could finish it… or post it.
We rarely know the story behind someone’s struggle.
Be kind.
Thankfully, God never writes us off.
He doesn’t dismiss us when we can’t get it right, pull it together, or even resist change.
His love is perfectly long-suffering… always seeking ways to redeem, rescue, and renew us.
“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you… not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9, NIV
I’ve struggled with my weight my entire life. I have had huge wins in other areas… and by the worlds standards I am successful. But this battle has lingered. I’ve had seasons of victory and seasons of setback. I’ve failed more times than I can count… and by God’s grace I keep getting back up.
In 2019 I lost 80 pounds and was having good success. Then came Covid and a couple of health challenges that were related to Covid. I gained about half of it back while recovering from that. Last year, with a summer trip to Europe on the horizon and the health challenges stabilized, I hit the reset button.
I walked 30 minutes a day on the treadmill… slowly increasing speed and incline and I went to physical therapy to strengthen a knee that had taken a beating from a nasty fall. The weight started to move back in the right direction. Stamina returned. Most of all… hope flickered again.
Since last summer I have been stable weight wise, but not making headway until I quietly restarted my health journey a couple of months ago. I didn’t talk about it because I get so much hate in my instant messages.
Then came a really hard moment.
At PT in the gym area I noticed a young boy with his mom. I saw a glance… a whisper… a laugh. Maybe it wasn’t about me. I don’t know for certain. But I know how it felt. It hit an old bruise. I’ve had my share of ridicule, snickers, and comments. That moment reopened the ache. I fought back tears the rest of the day… even during my treadmill walk at home.
You’d be surprised how people treat fat people in public. It changes tones… types of eye contact… who gets invited into conversation. I felt it. I chose to stay present anyway… to contribute… to honor the people in front of me and the God who has not given up on me.
I shared this on X this week
I am fat. I am obese. I have struggled my whole life.
I have so many victories in other areas of my life…
but this one has lingered for far too long.The food lying lobby doesn’t help.
The issue isn’t simple…BUT like with any sin or struggle, I ask for forgiveness and actively fight and walk out of the place I have found myself.
I will be victorious. 💪
Until then, Jesus will have grace.
Just like He does for all of our sins.
Because we all have them… even if they are not this visible.
A few truths I keep coming back to
Sin is sin.
Scripture is clear that all of us fall short.
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23, NIV
We are all capable of all of it.
The ground is level at the foot of the Cross. Temptations differ… but none of us are above any of it.
No sin is “greater” in guilt before a holy God… but consequences are real.
Some consequences are immediate, some delayed… some visible, some hidden… but they always arrive.
“Do not be deceived… a man reaps what he sows.” Galatians 6:7, NIV
Judgment is cheap. Mercy is costly.
“Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own?” Matthew 7:3, NIV
Grace does not excuse sin… it empowers change.
“Neither do I condemn you… go now and leave your life of sin.” John 8:11, NIV
Choices compound
Every choice has consequences.
Good or bad.
Immediate or delayed.
Visible or hidden.
Here are the three choices I am making again today:
Move my body. Walk at least 30 minutes… even when feelings argue.
Honor my body with simple food. Protein forward… cut the carbs (we don’t eat junk or processed foods)… keep it real and track the truth.
Tell the truth to God and one safe person. Shame rots in silence… hope grows in light.
And when I see someone else struggling:
Offer dignity. A smile… a hello… an invitation to sit.
Offer help, not fixes. “Want to walk while we talk?”
Offer prayer. Short and sincere.
I’m not asking for sympathy. I am asking for prayer. Pray that I keep choosing hope… that I keep showing up… that I keep doing the small faithful things that lead to an entirely different harvest.
If this resonates, leave a note below or share it with someone who needs a little hope today.
If you are carrying your own visible battle… how can I pray for you this week?
Your turn… talk to me
I want this to help more than me.
Tell me in the comments:
What battle are you quietly fighting right now… visible or hidden
What is one small step you will take today
Who could you come alongside this week so they don’t walk alone
I'm fighting to exercise my heart, to intentionally and consistently develop relationship with others with the end goal of simply expressing a desire to connect and be connected with, to know and be known.